Grief is a natural response to loss.  Everyone experiences loss in some shape or form throughout their life. The effects of grief aren’t just emotional, they can be physical, as well as spiritual – affecting our thoughts, feelings, behaviours, relationships – and therefore can have a profound impact on our wellbeing.

Why do we grieve?

Grief is a deep sorrow and feeling of loss. It’s not always about the passing of a loved one, it can be:

• a loss through change, 
• a sense of sadness of the way that things used to be, 
• a morning of missing out on what should have been,
• a loss of job or a loved one moving away, 
• plans that were made and fallen through, or
• separation of family and friends. 

No matter the root cause of our grief, the similarity that it all has is the gap of loss that is left. 

Grieving as a process

The process of grief can often be seen in steps. Shock, guilt, anger, depression. Emotions get stored in our body and can manifest itself in areas of weakness or old injuries. But mostly these emotions get stored in our heart. It literally feels like a heavy weight on your chest, it can often lead to respiratory problems and excess mucus build up. 

In Ayurveda, it states that during a period of grief all three Dosha are out of balance in the heart. Too much fire, too much air and space, and too much water and earth. The greatest imbalance during a period of grief is the Vata Dosha. Vata is the element of space and air. Grief leaves space. A void within the mind and body. It can often lead to our mind rushing about with thoughts that never sleep. Vata is the controller of all movement and flow within the body, for example our thoughts, nutrition, physical movement, digestion, etc. Like air, it’s always moving.

The art of routine

Some simple things we can do to help work through this and bring balance back is start the day with routine. Anchoring your day gives you energy to move through the day with purpose. As much as we may think we don’t need routine, we actually thrive on it. It is part of nature and we too are nature. 

How we start our morning sets us up for the day but also sets the pattern for how we sleep at night. 

• On rising brushing your teeth and tongue scraping followed by a warm glass of water is perfect to cleanse. 
• If you like yoga, gentle, restorative poses are great – a simple childs’ pose or laying with your legs up the wall will bring grounding and slow down the mind. 
• Self massage before a warm shower. Using a good quality sesame oil is best. It’s warming for the body but is also very nutritious. Gently massage areas of the body you can reach, especially the hips and lower back. 
• Head and feet massage is very important in healing. In Ayurveda we use Brahmi oil – a herbal infused oil specially for healing the mind. 
• If you cant get to a trained therapist, laying with a warm cloth soaked in a warm sesame oil placed over your forehead. (Brahmi oil is most recommended but sesame would be next best) 
• Nurture and cleanse at night to step into the new day cleansed. 

It’s important to get into a good sleep pattern. Wake by 6am and asleep by 10pm is a great routine. This isn’t going to stop the feelings of sadness and grief when you wake but it will help you to work through the day. Slow down. 

Honour your emotions

Often we keep ourselves busy to keep our minds off what we actually need to be dealing with. Honour yourself. You need to feel the emotions, all of the emotions. Without sadness how can we know joy? It is so important to journey through what can be emotionally painful but the consequences of storing it away can lead to much greater problems both mentally and physically. 

Nourish your body

“The only way out is through, and the only way through is in.”

There is no time frame nor only one way through grief but allowing daily practise will help to heal. Your digestive system can be greatly affected as well. The feelings of not wanting to eat are very common when going through a period of grief. This is a great place where friends and family can help. Digestive fire (Agni) will be very low so it’s important to eat well cooked and easy to digest meals. Nourishing meals that are moist and oily. Cook with lots of Ghee!! Slow cook foods are easy and nourishing and perfect for digestion. If your appetite is low and you just can’t bring yourself to eat then simply drinking a ginger tea will help to get the digestion to fire. Bring water to boil in a pot. take off heat and add fresh created ginger and good quality local honey. Seep for 10 mins, strain and drink. Lovely to sip throughout the day at room temperature, NOT cold. Avoid cold foods. In the evenings a Golden Milk is great before bed. Very soothing and nourishing especially if you add a little Ashwagandha (Ayurvedic herb to greatly help the nervous system) Gently bring milk of your choice to a simmer with turmeric, cinnamon, cardamom, Ashwagandha and ginger. Add a date or two for sweetness or honey at the end. Always use the best quality ingredients that you can afford. If you don’t feel like making Golden Milk, which you may not feel like doing when you’re in a place of sadness, I recommend the golden milk powder from Sunshine Ayurveda in Maroochydore. I have plenty more recipes and helpful tips, just reach out. 

Scents designed to heal

Concentrate on healing the heart. A simple aromatherapy is Lavender and Sandalwood. Either defusing or making a little spritz. Rose is also beautiful for the heart. Rosewater or a beautiful body oil with a drop or two of rose oil. Gently rub into your heart centre.

Grief is unsteady. Find support. Talk to an outlet. This might be a professional or just someone you trust. Someone who will just listen.

Everyone’s grief is different. Everyone grieves differently. It’s the feeling of loss and deep sorrow and I’m sure most of us have felt this to an extent over the last few years? Your grief is real and justifiable. On a personal level, I’ve dealt with huge grief over the last few years and it’s not all from a passing. I hope you too can find the right support to help you through. 

Treatments to help you heal

Gillian and I are always available to help. Maybe an Access Bars treatment will help or a beautiful warm oil massage to slow the mind and body. It’s so important to take care of yourself when you are healing.  Call us to chat anytime. 

Om Shanti 

Johanna